#2353
<By the side of the road>
Date: 08/07/2002
From: Carmelita9000
............................................................
<Everybody's run a reasonably safe distance from the broken down bus and it's frighteningly insane driver. They stop to catch their breath for a moment before several of the former passengers start to crowd around a hapless Tork.>
Tork: Heh heh... Hi fellas...
<Gotta tell you, I'm pretty damn sure there were more people on that bus than the ones I'm remembering, but sadly I can't remember them. (Like Sam, for example. Was he on the bus? You'd think he would be, but I thought I saw a reply with him at MSTBlanca. Yay for continuity!) So I can't give them any lines. So let's just say that though they are in this scene, they were so darn impressed with my latest replies, they've been stunned speechless. I'm that good. Thank you.>
Nick: Hello, Tork.
Buffalo: Ah think now's the tahme fer ta give you that ass-whuppin you been askin' fer.
Tork: What? I don't remember asking for any... ass-whuppins!
Buffalo: Sure you did!
Nick: When you joined GROPE and started plotting against our boss.
Tork: Wait! Don't beat me up! There's no reason to! I'll be good! Look, won't you just let me come with you back to MSTBlanca?
Nick: Why would you want to go back to MSTBlanca? Don't you have your own hideout to hang out in?
Tork: Because MSTBlanca is at least *somewhere*!! This place is nowhere! And you guys can find MSTBlanca. I have no idea where GROPE HQ is from here! I don't even know where here is! And I figure there's always at least one Lita at MSTBlanca, and when I find her, she can rescu-- er... She can help me get back to GROPE!
----------------------------------------
<Meanwhile, at MSTBlanca>
PM: <Hammering furiously at a sign he's putting up outside MSTBlanca> Stupid Litas... Nobody calls *me* a dork, by golly! Everybody knows I'm awesome!! <The sign says, "NO Litas!!"> This'll show 'em! They'll be begging me to forgive them when their Old Kentucky Shark supply runs out! HA!!
----------------------------------------
<Meanwhile, at GROPE HQ>
Lita: <looking very impressed> Wow! Look at this whole secret stash of Old Kentucky Shark I just found! Diabolik must have hid this all here back before he got turned to gold! I won't need to go back to MSTBlanca for months!
EM: Or at least a week.
Lita: Yeah!!
-----------------------------------------
<Back by the side of the road>
Nick: I still don't see why we should trust you.
Tork: Look! Don't hit me!
Nick: I don't know. The boss might be happy with us if we hit you. What will you do for us if we don't beat you up?
Tork: Er...
Nick: We're waiting.
Tork: <Very panicky and desperate> I'll give you a picture of Lita's knees!!
Nick: Oh, come on! Why on Earth would we want--
Buffalo: It's ah DEAL!!1!!
Nick: Crud.
Buffalo: But it has tah be a picture of the actual Cupcake II's knees, and not one of them twin sisters she's got.
Nick: Like you can tell the difference.
Buffalo: Ahre you sayin' Ah can't tell bahtween mah bahloved Cupcake II, who is mah brahde tah be by the way, and some other woman? Ah otta belt you so hard--
Nick: Never mind! Of course you can tell! It's a deal, Tork. You're sure you can get this picture?
Tork: Of course! <He thinks, "Ha! I've got tons of pics of Lita's knees at home!">
-----------------------------------------
<Three days ago, at GROPE HQ. Mickey is sitting by a wastebasket, burning Tork's knee pictures.>
Mickey: Really, it's for Tork's own good. *FWOOSH!* <"FWOOSH!" is the exacts sound a picture of Lita's knees makes when it catches fire. I did intense studies on this.> Lita would be so pissed off if she knew Tork had these. *FWOOSH!* She'd kill him. *FWOOSH!* Of course, Tork might kill me when he finds out I did this... He's not as laid back about these things as I am. *FWOOSH!* I'll just tell him 42 did it. *FWOOSH!*
-----------------------------------------
<Back to the present>
Tork: Yep. I've got the picture thing covered.
Buffalo: Ah know what this is ahbout!
Tork: You do?
Buffalo: You jus wanna join thah Pharow's gang!
Tork: I do?
Buffalo: You know how great we are, an' how we get all the ladies!
Nick: We do?
Buffalo: An' of course that makes you wanna quit GROPE and join us!
Tork: Actually, I had no intention of--
Buffalo: Well, welcome aboard, Little Buddy!
Nick: Shouldn't we talk to the boss about this before letting him join?
Buffalo: Ah'm sure the boss will be happy tah see us recrutin' more pals for him tah hang out with. Say, Tork, now that you're one of us I want tah ask you...
Tork: I'm not one of-- <suddenly remembering how much he doesn't want to get his ass kicked> Er... Yes?
Buffalo: Yeh think Cupcake II will be impressed with me that Ah made friends with one ah her friends?
Tork: Uh... well... <sees the desperate look in Buffalo's eyes> Of course she will!
Buffalo: WAAAAAAAHHOOOOOOO!!1!1! WOOOOOOOOOO-EEEEEEEEEEEAAAAOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!1!11!1
Nick: Stop that horrible noise.
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
That wacky Buffalo!
His accent just won't stop changing!
#2354
<By the side of the road>
Date: 08/07/2002
From: Carmelita9000
............................................................
<Everybody's run a reasonably safe distance from the broken down bus and it's frighteningly insane driver. They stop to catch their breath for a moment before several of the former passengers start to crowd around a hapless Tork.>
Tork: Heh heh... Hi fellas...
<Gotta tell you, I'm pretty damn sure there were more people on that bus than the ones I'm remembering, but sadly I can't remember them. (Like Sam, for example. Was he on the bus? You'd think he would be, but I thought I saw a reply with him at MSTBlanca. Yay for continuity!) So I can't give them any lines. So let's just say that though they are in this scene, they were so darn impressed with my latest replies, they've been stunned speechless. I'm that good. Thank you.>
Nick: Hello, Tork.
Buffalo: Ah think now's the tahme fer ta give you that ass-whuppin you been askin' fer.
Tork: What? I don't remember asking for any... ass-whuppins!
Buffalo: Sure you did!
Nick: When you joined GROPE and started plotting against our boss.
Tork: Wait! Don't beat me up! There's no reason to! I'll be good! Look, won't you just let me come with you back to MSTBlanca?
Nick: Why would you want to go back to MSTBlanca? Don't you have your own hideout to hang out in?
Tork: Because MSTBlanca is at least *somewhere*!! This place is nowhere! And you guys can find MSTBlanca. I have no idea where GROPE HQ is from here! I don't even know where here is! And I figure there's always at least one Lita at MSTBlanca, and when I find her, she can rescu-- er... She can help me get back to GROPE!
----------------------------------------
<Meanwhile, at MSTBlanca>
PM: <Hammering furiously at a sign he's putting up outside MSTBlanca> Stupid Litas... Nobody calls *me* a dork, by golly! Everybody knows I'm awesome!! <The sign says, "NO Litas!!"> This'll show 'em! They'll be begging me to forgive them when their Old Kentucky Shark supply runs out! HA!!
----------------------------------------
<Meanwhile, at GROPE HQ>
Lita: <looking very impressed> Wow! Look at this whole secret stash of Old Kentucky Shark I just found! Diabolik must have hid this all here back before he got turned to gold! I won't need to go back to MSTBlanca for months!
EM: Or at least a week.
Lita: Yeah!!
-----------------------------------------
<Back by the side of the road>
Nick: I still don't see why we should trust you.
Tork: Look! Don't hit me!
Nick: I don't know. The boss might be happy with us if we hit you. What will you do for us if we don't beat you up?
Tork: Er...
Nick: We're waiting.
Tork: <Very panicky and desperate> I'll give you a picture of Lita's knees!!
Nick: Oh, come on! Why on Earth would we want--
Buffalo: It's ah DEAL!!1!!
Nick: Crud.
Buffalo: But it has tah be a picture of the actual Cupcake II's knees, and not one of them twin sisters she's got.
Nick: Like you can tell the difference.
Buffalo: Ahre you sayin' Ah can't tell bahtween mah bahloved Cupcake II, who is mah brahde tah be by the way, and some other woman? Ah otta belt you so hard--
Nick: Never mind! Of course you can tell! It's a deal, Tork. You're sure you can get this picture?
Tork: Of course! <He thinks, "Ha! I've got tons of pics of Lita's knees at home!">
-----------------------------------------
<Three days ago, at GROPE HQ. Mickey is sitting by a wastebasket, burning Tork's knee pictures.>
Mickey: Really, it's for Tork's own good. *FWOOSH!* <"FWOOSH!" is the exacts sound a picture of Lita's knees makes when it catches fire. I did intense studies on this.> Lita would be so pissed off if she knew Tork had these. *FWOOSH!* She'd kill him. *FWOOSH!* Of course, Tork might kill me when he finds out I did this... He's not as laid back about these things as I am. *FWOOSH!* I'll just tell him 42 did it. *FWOOSH!*
-----------------------------------------
<Back to the present>
Tork: Yep. I've got the picture thing covered.
Buffalo: Ah know what this is ahbout!
Tork: You do?
Buffalo: You jus wanna join thah Pharow's gang!
Tork: I do?
Buffalo: You know how great we are, an' how we get all the ladies!
Nick: We do?
Buffalo: An' of course that makes you wanna quit GROPE and join us!
Tork: Actually, I had no intention of--
Buffalo: Well, welcome aboard, Little Buddy!
Nick: Shouldn't we talk to the boss about this before letting him join?
Buffalo: Ah'm sure the boss will be happy tah see us recrutin' more pals for him tah hang out with. Say, Tork, now that you're one of us I want tah ask you...
Tork: I'm not one of-- <suddenly remembering how much he doesn't want to get his ass kicked> Er... Yes?
Buffalo: Yeh think Cupcake II will be impressed with me that Ah made friends with one ah her friends?
Tork: Uh... well... <sees the desperate look in Buffalo's eyes> Of course she will!
Buffalo: WAAAAAAAHHOOOOOOO!!1!1! WOOOOOOOOOO-EEEEEEEEEEEAAAAOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!1!11!1
Nick: Stop that horrible noise.
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
That wacky Buffalo!
His accent just won't stop changing!
#2355
PARTY!!!
Date: 08/07/2002
From: Tork_110
<Time out mode>
It's Mickey's first anniverary on the Duh! WHOO!
I'll pay for all the soup at this party.
#2356
Stupid Duh!
Date: 08/07/2002
From: Tork_110
The last reply was suppose to be on August 8. :o(
I guess I would have lost if this was a Wacky Race.
#2357
Yeah!!1!! Party!!1!! Wooo!1!!
Date: 08/07/2002
From: Carmelita9000
...........................................................
Happy anniverary, Mickey! I made some soup out of Old Kentucky Shark. Give it a try!
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
#2358
Who wants to play pinata?
Date: 08/08/2002
From: Tork_110
Dawn can be the pinata!!
#2359
<Lita turns on some music>
Date: 08/08/2002
From: Carmelita9000
...........................................................
I know how big a fan of U2 you are, Mickey, so I know you'll enjoy dancing to--
<Tork whispers in Lita's ear>
What do you mean Mickey isn't a big U2 fan? Of course he is! Everybody is!!
<Tork shakes his head>
Ok. Fine.
<Lita turns on some other music that Mickey probably enjoys>
I'm going to dance with Evil Mike, now. Happy anniverary, Mickey!
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
told Evil Mike that he has to refrain from punching Mickey
on his anniverary
#2360
/a pours a cup of Old Kentucky Soup
Date: 08/08/2002
From: PharaohMobius
<<<Hic!>>>
Mmmm... Shark-a-riffic!
Happy BBoard Anniversary, Mickey! For your gift, please accept this official John Lee Supertaster action figure! With real Sweet and Sour Discerning Ability! Whoo!
PM
President of the I Hate Spekkio Club
Vice President of the Mr. T Fan Club
Official Distributor of John Lee Supertaster Merchandise
Posture King +8]=)
Sarcophagus!
#2361
[Lita walks up to MSTBlanca...]
Date: 08/08/2002
From: PharaohMobius
<<<Another RP response!>>>
[...and sees the "No Litas Allowed!" sign. She snickers to herself.]
[Lita] Oh, right. Like *that's* going to stop me. I'll just get him with the "no Lita*S*" clause, since I'm the only Lita here. [She laughs.]
[Just as Lita approaches the door, she is startled by it flying open, and Servo The Great hurtling towards her! Quickly stepping aside, she fortunately avoids a collision. STG, however, is not so lucky, and lands face-first in a conveniently placed mud puddle. PM, Nabut, Rick, Sam, and Lita6969 all exit the bar, and laugh at STG.]
[Nabut] And *stay* out!
[PM] I told you, we don't serve your kind here.
[STG, sputtering filthy water.] That sounds like discrimination! I'm gonna call the ACLU!
[PM] I meant the *non-paying* kind, ServoTheDink. Now am-scray!
[Everyone there except for STG laughs as he gets up and scampers away. After a moment, though, Lita stops laughing and looks at 6969.]
[Lita] Hey! What're you doing here?
[Lita6969] I had a date with the bartender, remember?
[Lita, to PM.] What is she doing here? Your sign says "No Litas Allowed!"
[PM] Yeah, it says "no Lita*S*". We already have one Lita here, so you need to get lost, too!
[Lita] But, I've got to buy more Old Kentucky Shark! Gramps found out Diabolik had a stash of it, and hid it all! Now we have to do stupid favors for him, like give his dogs a flea bath, to get some Shark!
[PM] Too bad! You'll have to get it somewhere else, missy!
[Lita] OOOOOHHHHH!!!! 6969, you're in big trouble when you get home! And Plehhy Monkeymess, you're never getting my business again! At least, not unless I really need something and you're the only one who has it. But except for that, you've lost my business!!!
[PM, sarcastically.] Oh no, I've lost Lita's stupid business. Whatever will I do? Oh well, at least I have my dignity.
[Suddenly, a device falls out of PM's pocket, which unfolds into a robot that gives him a wedgie, pulls his hat over his eyes, dumps a bucket of water on him, calls him a dork, and poins at him. Everyone poins and laughs at him.]
[PM] Well son of a bi--
[Meanwhile, a short distance away, Servo The Great is in some kind of mad sciencey laboratory, watching some strange substance bubbling in a beaker over a bunsen burner.]
[STG] Progresso: the soup of deceit. Even Mickey, lover of soup, cannot fathom your mystery. It sits patiently in the bowl, waiting, waiting, waiting... and ATTACK!
[The soup, of course, does not attack anything. STG shrugs and walks over to a sizeable rack of phonograph records.]
[STG] Behold the mighty Johnny Mathis album. Crafty, cunning, deadly... I love you, Johnny Mathis! Soon both the GROPErs and PM will know the fury of your wrath!
[STG walks over to a giant wheel chart, drawn in fat, kindergarten-style crayon, with pictures of all the members of GROPE and PM, and cryptic references to "self-transformation" and crap like that.]
[STG] Soon, I will transform myself from Man to Fish. And when I become Abe Vigoda, I will... [He grabs a guitar and starts to sing.] o/`Get reveeeeeeeenge on my frieeeeeeeends... o/` [He puts the guitar away.] And now, to see if I can get that typewriter to pull up the internet...
TmPM
I hope STG doesn't mind my writing his
character doing all that. Well, if he
does, it isn't like we haven't gone
back and changed large parts of the
continuity before. I hope he likes it, though. =)
Sarcophagus!
#2362
Hey, speaking of that wacky telethon
Date: 08/08/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
What do you mean we weren't speaking of it?
PM: Heh heh...the cash is just rolling in. What do we got, dear?
Mrs. Mo: We owe $308.57.
PM: Huh? How can...
Mrs. Mo: Well, apparently, all we could afford was an infomercial in Utah at 3 in the morning. We've gone completly over our time slot and we made a bunch of Mormon jokes.
PM: manosgirl!!!
manosgirl: Well.....they started it!
PM: We're sunk.
Mickey: Not so fast, PM. I've got one last idea.
(Minutes later, Ortega, Schmoe, Alan Hale, Abe_on_a_Big_Wheel, and Evil Mike are standing on stage)
Mickey: (Comes out on stage) Ladies and gentlemen, especially the ladies! Please welcome.....The Funky Freshsters!!!!!!!
(Audience goes wild with applause; generic pop music comes through the speakers)
Ortega: o/' We've been on this quest for months and months o/'
EM: o/' To get revenge on that no good Pharaoh punk o/'
PM: (Backstage) Hey!
Mickey: (Backstage) Shutup! The audience is eating it up!
Alan Hale: o/' Hoping one day, his mission will be quelled o/'
Schmoe: o/'Untill then, he can go to hell o/'
EM, Abe, Alan Hale, and Ortega: (In harmony) o/' *Glug glug glug* o/'
Abe: o/' Fighting him with weapons of our pick o/'
EM: o/'Punches, trout, and popsicle sticks
o/'
Alan Hale: o/' What will those crazy GROPErs come up with next? o/'
Ortega: o/'Yanni records or reruns of Lexx? o/'
Schmoe: o/'Go to hell o/'
Ortega: o/'You smell o/'
Schmoe: o/' Oh and you smell any better? o/'
Ortega: o/' Mickey never sends me letters o/'
Mickey: (Backstage): That wasn't in the script.
Ortega: o/' EPORG eht noij. o/' Thank you we love you good night!!!
The Bespectacled Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
President of the John Lee Supertaster Fan Club
Post Narc x4
And now we owe $53 less! Yay me!
#2363
Lita: Hmph!!
Date: 08/09/2002
From: Carmelita9000
............................................................
<Lita storms back into Diabolik's lair>
Lita: I am so pissed off right now it's not even funny!
EM: It's kind of funny.
Lita: No it's not! Who does Pharaoh Mobius think he is? Banning Litas from his bar? I'll show him. He doesn't think it's a big deal that he's losing my business? Wait until he remembers that there's 9000 of me! That's a lot of drinks! 42, get the word out among the rest of the clones that until further notice, they are not to give PM their business.
42: Check! <She runs off to spread the news>
Rimmer: Oh. That's effective. He was banning you guys anyway, wasn't he?
Lita: <She frowns for a moment, but then brightens up> Of course! *That's* why I've got Plan B!
Rimmer: What's that?
<Lita picks up her phone>
***
<A few minutes later, at MSTBlanca. Nabut is hanging around in front of MSTBlanca, doing whatever it is he does when he hangs out in front of MSTBlanca. He sees a Lita approaching.>
Nabut: <poining at the sign> No Litas. Bar policy.
Lita Clone: How would you like for me to take that sign and shove it up your--
****Due to Adult Content, The Rest of This Scene Has Been Omitted****
<The Lita Clone walks into MSTBlanca. Nabut staggers in behind her.>
Lita Clone: <Glaring at Nabut> Stop following me. How would you like another taste of my deadly "Stuffing Spider" technique?
Nabut: Urgh...
PM: Hey. No Litas.
Lita Clone: <poining to 6969> What's she doing here, then?
6969: We've done the Lita*S* joke already.
Lita Clone: Oh. We have? Ok. Sorry, I just got here.
6969: No problem.
PM: <Looking the Lita clone up and down> Ok, ok. Which Lita are you?
Lita Clone: I'm Carmelita2112. And I'm your worst nightmare.
Nabut: Wasn't that Batman's line? OW!!1!! I WAS KIDDING, 2112, STOP PUNCHING ME!!1!! OW!1!! MY SPLEEN!!1! OWWW!!1! MY EYES!!1!! MY BEAUTIFUL EYES!11!11
***
Rimmi: So what's so great about 2112?
Lita: She's mastered like a jillion martial arts disciplines, many of which probably don't even exist they're so cool.
Rimmi: Wow.
***
6969: So, 2112. Why are you even here?
2112: <Between the impressive kicks she's delivering to the Shock Troopers that PM's called in by now> Well, Lita said that this Pharaoh Mobius guy was indulging in an unusually high level of assholery,
PM: Assholery? I have not!
2112: That's what she said. Lita wouldn't lie.
PM: She started it! She called me a Dork!
2112: And I'm certain a man who is able to pull off wearing a nice hat like that could never be a dork. <She punches him> Anyway, Lita asked me to come here and give everybody a taste of my "Rabid Monkey" fighting style.
6969: Ok. I guess if you're following orders. But hey, leave the bartender alone, ok? I want him to stay pretty for our date later.
2112: Yeah, ok. No problem.
Rick: Thanks, Sweetheart.
PM: How about you not attack me either?
2112: *glare* Eat "Exploding Gazelle," Bitch.
<more gratuitous violence follows>
***
Rimmi: She sounds absolutely horrible.
Lita: She is not! She's actually very nice, once you get to know her.
Rimmi: She's a psycho!
Lita: No she's not! Not at all. She just likes to fight sometimes is all. And she's willing to kick people's asses when I ask her to.
Cave Rimmer: Wasn't that *my* job in this rp?
Lita: And who are you again?
EM: What's an rp?
***
2112: <Having soundly beaten everybody in the room except for 6969 and Rick.> Well, it was nice seeing you again, 6969.
6969: Yeah, we should get together more often.
2112: Most definitely!
6969: Only not in the middle of a bloodbath.
2112: Ok. I'll call you. Bye 6969!
6969: See you!
2112: Bye Date!
Rick: <Smiling like crazy in the hopes that she won't hit him> Bye, Dollface!
<2112 is almost out the door when PM raises his head>
PM: *muttering* A girl could never *really* beat me. I just know better than to hit a woman.
<2112 whirls around>
2112: I heard that!
PM: Crap. I should have waited until you were gone before I muttered, huh?
2112: Here's a good dose of "Plehhy Horse" to remember me by!!1!
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
knows this is really violent,
but Tork told her to post it anyway.
So if you don't like this reply,
blame Tork.
Special thanks go out to Tork for helping me with those names for 2112's moves.
She's not a psycho. Really. You have to believe me!
#2364
Man, I hope they play Dr. Z again...
Date: 08/09/2002
From: ServoTheGreat
The night before it went on, there was this huge freakin' thunder storm, and power didn't return, until shortly after the episode ended!!! GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
Oh well...
I guess I'l write a rp reply tomorrow. See ya later guys.
#2365
Nick: What the...?
Date: 08/10/2002
From: Tork_110
Nick: What happened?
Nabut: owwwwwwwwwwwwwww...
Nick: I see. GROPE has been here recently.
Tork: Heh heh. You guys want me to join you? You're pathetic.
Buffalo: Hey!! Owr new spot hays a pool!!
Tork: DEAL!
<Tork runs to the pool, stepping on Nabut in the process>
Nabut: OoooF!
<Later...>
<Buffalo, Sam(?), and Nick are watching Tork, who is on the phone.>
Tork: Shhh! Watch one of my patented phone pranks. ...Hello? Mickey? You're a stupid face!!!!
<Tork hangs up. Sam and Buffalo join him in a long, loud laugh. Nick gets bored and walks away.>
Tork: Ooooh! It's time for "Angel's Brigade: 2000" Nuveena has a guest part in tonight's episode.
<Tork runs off. Moments later...>
PM: Ok, why is Tork here, and why am I NOT watching "Fern" right now?
Nick: It was Buffalo's idea!
PM: Why am I not surprised?
Nabut: Owwwwwwwwwwww...
PM: NABUT!! Don't interrupt me when I'm trying to watch my favorite show.
Nick: Shouldn't you do something for him?
PM: *AHEM* "FERN"!!! We have to do something about our robot friend...
Nick: Umm, he's not wearing his robot costume...
<PM glares at Nick.>
PM: Anyway, we'll do something about Tork. The first thing we're going to do is make sure that he never, ever interrupts...
<*ring, ring, ring*>
PM: ARGH! (picks up phone) Hello?
<Mickey slaps PM with a large trout>
Mickey: Heh heh. (hangs up)
Tork_110
I actually have more planned, but don't be afraid to jump in.
Yes, Mickey can trout-slap someone over the phone. He's that good.
#2366
Boy, was I sleepy
Date: 08/10/2002
From: Tork_110
<Plot hole mode>
I just realized earlier today that I shouldn't know where Mickey is.
Well, let's just say that I used one of PM's gizmo's to locate Mickey. Then I made the prank phone call.
Yep, that makes sense to me.
#2367
Ah, nothing like revenge, though....
Date: 08/10/2002
From: ServoTheGreat
vengeance is pretty good, I hear.
(IN some deserted building on the skirts of Where-Ever-The-Hell-This-Is-Ville)
STG: Ho ho! Now to become a fish man! (Reaches under the table, and pulls up a fish bowl, with a gold fish in it) Now to fuse myself to it... somehow... Hmmm...
(Suddenly the door bursts open behind him! It's... it's... *sigh* Squecky and Rex... again...)
STG: (Depressed voice)Oh great, it's you two... I mean OH GREAT!
Squecky: (Sees fish) *GASP* We leave for a while, and you replace us with another animal!?
Rex: (Suddenly excited) HE DID!? Can we go?
STG: Um.... Sure, yeah. Beat it.
Squecky: (Sobbing uncontrolably) You... *sob* you... *sob* CRAP HEAD!!!
STG: HEY!
Rex: Whelp, no use cryin' over it, let's go.
STG: Yes, yes, GO!
Rex: Wait a minute... You want me to go? I was hoping this would annoy you. I changed my mind. I'll stay and piss you off.
Squecky: Yeah, we can stay!
STG: No, no, no!
Rex: Yes, yes, yes!
STG: DAMMIT JUST GO, I have evil plans to enact!
Squecky: NO! (latches onto his leg)
STG: Get off! (Trys to shake her off)
Rex: What!? Are you too good for us allavusudden?
STG: Um... yes.
Fish: Man, you're a jerk.
STG: Don't you start too!
Rex: Hey, don't talk to that animal like that! We have feelings to, ya bitch!
Squecky: I DON'T WANNA GO!!! I DON'T WANNA GO!!! I DON'T WANNA GO!!!
STG: (Thinks for a second) Okay, I still want you to go, and do a job for me. It'll annoy me too.
(Animals look intrested)
Rex: What is it?
STG: I need you to pick something up. Oh, and Squecky, let go of my leg, it's all numb now.
Squecky: Sorry...
STG: One second guys... (Scribbles on a piece of paper) Here's a treasure map! Go find the treasure!
Rex; Why is a treasure map written on the back of a Burger Queen bag?
STG: Um... ya see... Hungry pirates?
Squecky: Well, let's go!
Rex: Well, I guess we'll do it...
STG: Oh, and take this with you. (Hands the fishbowl to Squecky) (thinking) The last thing I need is another talking animal...
(The animals being to walk out)
Rex: This better be real! Or you're a dead man! And remember, STG, you can keep pushing me out of the mainstream story, but I'll keep pushing myself back in!
Fish: And I'll keep exposing myself in public!
(Akward silence)
Fish: What?
Rex; You better not do that on this trip.
(Animals finally leave)
STG: Okay, where was I... Oh yeah, revenge! Hmmm... But I lost the fish I was going to fuse myself to. I know, I'll got o my old Dictator Fortress, and get something good there! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
(Later at the Fortress)
STG: Well, this sure brings back memories. Mostly crappy ones...
(In the basement, and opens an old crate)
STG: Here it is! The Kill-Bot!
(Turns it on, it takes a second to start up)
STG: This is a pretty affective weapon. I wonder why I never used it...
(Robot is finally on)
Kill-Bot: Targets to terminate... Rimmer... Tork.... Mickey... Pharoah Mobious... Grandmapa... Carmalita1-9001...
STG: It still has the targets from the War still programmed into it? I still wonder why I didn't use it...
Kill-Bot: Systems ready for destructi... ERROR... ERROR... ERROR... New porgram activated... Kill Town Resistance AND Dictator...
STG: Oh yeah, that's why...
(Kill-Bot's arm forms into a gatling gun)
Kill-Bot: Target aquired...
STG: Oh, crap...
#2368
Tork: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!!
Date: 08/10/2002
From: Carmelita9000
...........................................................
PM: What do you want?
Tork: Where's the pool? Buffalo said there was a pool!! I wanna swim in the pool!
PM: I thought you did that already.
Tork: I just ran off to find it. But I didn't. So where is it?
PM: Who ever heard of a bar with a pool?
Tork: You don't have one? But Buffalo said--
PM: There's a pool out there--
Tork: Yay!! <He scampers off>
PM: --But it's not ours. It belongs to our neighbor--
Tork: *SPLASH!!*
PM: Buffalo, tell me why you invited him to join us again?
Buffalo: He really wanted teh join. Nick and Ah thought he'd be a great addition tah our sahd.
6:37 PM 8/10/2002
Nick: I'm not taking responsibility for this.
PM: He's a member of GROPE!
Buffalo: He said he'd quit GROPE!
Tork: <running in from the pool> PM!!1! Watch me dive!! Watch me dive!! Watch me dive!!
PM: Tork, I'm trying to have a discussion in here--
Tork: Watch me dive!! Watch me dive!! Watch me dive!!
PM: All right, all right!
Tork: Woo-hoo! <He runs back out to the pool>
PM: <getting back to the conversation at hand> I just don't think we can trust him.
Tork: *SPLASH!!*
Buffalo: He said he'd get us ah pickshure of Cupcake II's knees!
PM: Lita's knees, eh? Hmm...
Tork: <Running back in> Heeeey, PM!!! You didn't watch me dive! You were supposed to watch me dive but you weren't watching me when I dived-- er... dove. You didn't watch!!!
PM: Yes I did, it was great! Now let me talk!
Tork: Yay!!! <He zips back outside and jumps back in the pool>
PM: Why do I always get the dumb henchmen?
Sam, Nick, and Buffalo: Heeeey!
Nick: That really hurts, Boss.
PM: <holding his head> I wasn't talking about you.
Sam, Nick, and Buffalo: Ohhh... <They all smirk at Nabut>
Nabut: Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...
PM: It's just going to be one of those days, isn't it... I need a drink. Where's Rick run off to? He's never been 6 hours late to work before.
<Almost as if on cue, Rick walks back in. He looks pretty happy with life in general.>
Rick: Hi, Boss! *smile* *smile*
PM: Where the hell have you been?
Rick: Don't you remember? I had a date with that nice young clone. She's... <he gets a faraway look in his eyes> ...nice...
PM: You can't date her anymore.
Rick: What? Why not? I like her!
PM: She's making you fall down on your job. Besides, she's a Lita. I've had way too much trouble with Lita and her stupid clones lately.
Rick: But Carmelita6969 isn't trouble!
PM: I don't need her running back to Lita and telling her about *him*. <PM nods his head toward the pool.>
Tork: Wheeeeee!!! *SPLASH!!*
PM: Lita will get all pissed off, and then GROPE will all come crawling up my nose again on some kind of an asinine "rescue" mission and that's just a pain in the ass. Sorry, Rick. You and Carmelita6969 are through.
Rick: You're just jealous because she likes me now and she doesn't like you anymore!! You can't tell me who I can and can't date!! Pleh on you!!!
PM: What did you just say? *glare*
Rick: Er... Nothing, Boss! Absolutely nothing! If you heard somebody saying something, it was probably just Nabut!
Nabut: Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww??
Rick: I'll just go back to serving drinks now!
PM: Yes, I think that would be best.
Tork: *SPLASH!!* Woo-hoo!!
PM's Neighbor: Hey! What the hell do you think you're doin'? Get outta my freakin' pool!!!
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
Can you tell I've been watching kids swim all day?
#2369
Heh... STG you scared the crap out of me
Date: 08/10/2002
From: Carmelita9000
............................................................
You must have posted your reply just before I posted mine because it wasn't there when I checked before posting.
Or something like that. But I got all scared that your reply would do something to make mine not work, and since you got there first your reply would get to stay and it would be *my* beautiful writing that would have to go away!!1!! AIEEEE!!1!!
Anyhow, looks like our posts don't interfere with each other. That's a good thing.
...for you! :oÞ
<Outside continuity, Lita gives Rex a nice stick of dynamite to chew on>
And to make this reply not totally wasted... Uh... Those Undersea Kingdom shorts are boring as hell!!!
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
#2370
Cop #1 (Eats some dirt)
Date: 08/11/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
A ha! He's been here recently....
Cop #2: So Mickey T. Gardener...(picks up a book)...What's this?
Cop #1: HA!!! That big girl has a diary!
Cop #2: How do you open this damn thing? This lock is on there pretty good.
Cop #1: (bangs the lock with a rock)
Cop #2: OW! Watch it!
Cop #1: Sorry.....
Cop #2: I've got it...stand back...(Takes out his gun and fires six shots at the diary)
Cop #1: You idiot! You've obliterated it!
Cop #2: Now hold on, don't get your panties in a bunch...there's still one page intact.
Cop #1: But what are the odds it's the most recent page?
Cop #2: (reading) "I've been on the run for days. Hunted. The world I've taken so much from is sending the repo men after me...."
Cop #1: A little on the overdramatic side, isn't he?
Cop #2: (Reading) "The last few days have been an interesting experience. I've scratched up enough money by performing many odd jobs. Painting houses, raking leaves, starting a game at quarterback for the Redskins, but alas, all of that has passed. How do you get cut by a team during the second quarter anyway?"
Cop #1: Wow, here's his rookie card.
Cop #2: They give those to anyone these days. Take a drug test with a team, there you go.
Cop #1: (goes to the car to listen to the report on the radio) We got him....shooting a Chunky's soup commercial. Let's go.
Cop #2: When will they learn? (gets in the car)
Cop #1: Learn what exactly?
Cop #2: I dunno. Sounded like the thing to say.
The bespectacled Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
President of the John Lee Supertaster Fan Club
President of the Post Narc x4 Club
President of the If I get home from work after midnight one more time, there will be bloodshed club.
So very tired...bed now.
#2371
GAH!!! A new flash ad!!!!!
Date: 08/13/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
You bastards!!!!!!! At least you can close this one though
I should be adding an rp response.
Yep, I should be.
MTG etc
#2372
PM: What happened to my bar!?!?
Date: 08/13/2002
From: Tork_110
<PM is shocked. After dealing with his new neighbor, he has returned to MSTBlanca to see several posters around MSTblanca. Each one has Nuveena on it. On top of that, his henchmen are all watching a program that Tork taped. Tork has the remote control and is fast forwarding.>
Tork: Wait, wait, wait...is that her? No....Come on, come on, come on!... *gasp* It's her!! I recognize that cute nose anywhere. YAY!!!!
<on the TV, an episode of "Angel's Brigade: 2000">
Assassin: (to self) Ha! My plan to kill Alan Hale Jr. is working perfectly. (normal) Do you have espresso?
Nuveena, as waitress: My costumers couldn't even pronounce it.
Assassin: I'll just have a cup of coffee.
<Nuveena nods and goes off camera>
<rewind!!!!>
Assassin: Do you have espresso?
Nuveena, as waitress: My costumers couldn't even pronounce it.
<rewind!!!!>
Assassin: Do you have espresso?
Nuveena, as waitress: My costumers couldn't even pronounce it.
<back at MSTblanca>
Nick: I'm suddenly thirsty for an espresso.
Sam: Is it me, or is she kind of weird looking?
<Tork glares at Sam, who decides it's a good time to disappear>
<PM shuts off the TV>
Tork: ACK!!! Nuvy!!!
PM: THIS is what you interrupted "Fern" for?
Tork: How can I help it? She's cute. *sigh*
PM: So you put up several posters of her around MSTBlanca? Look at this! Nuveena in cars, Nuveena in kitchens, Nuveena at an airport - is she wearing a pancake?
Tork: Hey! That's my favorite picture. Don't touch.
PM: I want you to get rid of these posters, NOW!
Tork: Fine, no Nuveena trading cards for you.
PM: (to himself) What is this guy's deal with this woman.
<Tork overhears, and gets an evil grin on his face. >
Tork: I have a simple explanation about why I like her.
PM: Good.
<Tork pulls out a book that he wrote about Nuveena. It's really thick.>
PM: Aw, shoot.
Tork: Thelma "Nuveena" Tadlock was born in Port Arthur, Texas. ...
Rick: I have to go make some espressos.
Nick: I'll help.
Buffalo: I love stories!
Tork: Well known at her high school for being a great dancer...
PM: Nabut, you stand in for me.
Nabut: I'm still recovering from my injuries... <PM glares at Nabut> *sigh* fine.
<After a few hours, Tork puts the book down and starts to poin to the posters.>
Tork: Here she is wearing a futuristic outfit. And here she is next to the car of the future. (I want one sooooo bad.) And here she is in another car.
Nabut: (bored out of his mind) Wow, cars.
Tork: Yeah, I even wrote a poem.
"She walks in beauty like the night.
She rides in Buicks like a bird in flight."
Nabut: ....
Tork: And here she is wearing a bathing suit. She's so modest that her swimsuit covers up her hips.
Nabut: Look...
Tork: (mumbling to himself) I wish some of the *other* women I know would be more modest...
Nabut: Tork....
Tork: If you have a computer, than I could show you some of the online pics that I found.
Nabut: No, I'm afraid I have to go back to work. Why don't you watch your tape?
Tork: Sure!!
<Tork continues to watch the same ten seconds over and over again. Finally, a costumer arrives.>
Costumer: What are you watching?
Tork: Huh? Don't you know who that is?
Costumer: No.
Tork: (evil grin) Heh heh.
Tork_110
didn't write that poem.
#2373
<Tork is telling the costumer all about
Date: 08/13/2002
From: Carmelita9000
Nuveena> -----------------------------------------------------
Costumer: She sounds nice. But it's time I got down to business!
Tork: Business?
Costumer: You know, my job!
Tork: Your job? You must be some kind of a raging alcoholic if you consider it your job to drink at bars.
Costumer: That's not my job. I'm the costumer. I'm here to see Pharaoh Mobius about a new supply of hats. <He holds up a pad of paper> Check out these nice new hat designs! I thought he might be interested in a new look.
Tork: *Costumer*?? I thought you were a-- Oh crap. I made a typo, didn't I?
Costumer: Probably. But that's not my problem. Now where's this Mobius guy? I gotta measure his head.
<Tork poins in the general direction of where he believes PM to be.>
Tork: *grumble* It wasn't *my* stupid typo... Ok maybe it was but still... PM doesn't want a new hat anyway... and my robot costume is missing. If anybody needs a costumer it's me...
Buffalo: Bah tha way, Tork...
Tork: Gah! When did you two get in here?
Nick: Just now.
Tork: What do you want??
Buffalo: Yew prahmised us some pickshures of Cupcake II's knees.
Tork: I did?
Nick: Yes. You did. You can produce those pictures, can't you?
Tork: Of course I can! I have tons!
Buffalo: Then haynd some over!
Tork: Well, I don't have any *here* of course... They're all at GROPE Headquarters. As soon as I get back there, I can get some for you.
Nick: But you aren't a member of GROPE anymore. You joined us.
Tork: Er...
Nick: Hey! But GROPE doesn't know that!
Buffalo: So Tork is lahke a double aygint!
Tork: Uh... <He thinks, "I can't be a double agent!! How could I betray my friends at GROPE and work for the nefarious Plehhy Manboobs??
<Suddenly, the costumer walks back in>
Costumer: Mr. Mobius asked me to take your measurements before I left. Apparently you're in need of a new robot costume?
Tork: Woo-hoo! Pharaoh Mobius is the best!
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
It may have been a typo,
but it was a funny typo.
#2374
Tork: Wait a second...
Date: 08/16/2002
From: Tork_110
<Tork bangs the TV.>
Assassin: Do you have espresso?
Nuveena, as waitress: My customers couldn't even pronounce it.
Tork: Much better. PM, I fixed the TV!!
PM: Good. Now I can watch last night episode of "Fern". Someone gave me a copy (you lucky $#@@).
Tork: But I haven't finished my tape!!
PM: Oh yes you have. <ejects the tape> Now go change. You're new custome...UGH, I mean costume is ready.
<Tork runs off.>
Tork: Whee!
<Tork returns in his new costume. It's basically the same, with one exception...>
Nabut: Doesn't the costume make him look a little fa...
PM: Do you remember what happened when I said that word around Lita?
Nabut: Oh yeah.
<Tork notices what looks like a purple weapon on his arm. He poins it at PM and his henchmen.>
Nabut: Hey! What are you doing?
<PM's henchmen try to use Buffalo as a shield.>
Tork: Ha! Eat lazer!!!
<Tork pushes the button on his arm.>
<CLICK!!!>
Buffalo: ARGH!!! Mah eyes!! I'm blinded!!
PM: That's because it's a flashlight.
Tork: Of course, a flashlight. Duh. How could it be anything else but a flashlight? It's so obvious. <CLICK!!!>
<PM stares at Tork.>
Tork: So... anyway. Did the (rolls his eyes) *costumer* listen to some of my suggestions.
PM: Meh.
Tork: But I really need those specifications.
PM: Meh.
Tork: Come on! All I ask for is a cross, or a hidden compartment to store holy water, or...
PM: Meh.
Rick: You keep asking for holy water. I didn't know you were such a religious person.
Tork: Actually...
<Sunday runs in and punches Tork in the stomach.>
Tork: Oww!
<She also steals PM's hat and replaces it with a tiara. PM doesn't even notice.>
<Sunday runs away giggling.>
PM: Hmm, we'll have to watch out for her. ...Why are you all laughing at me?
Everyone else: Nothing!! Tee hee!
Tork: <poins at a tag on his costume> Hey, what is this?
PM: That's my logo. You're one of us now.
Tork: I don't like it.
PM: Excuse me, but you'll wear it and you'll like it.
Tork: Never mind. I like it.
PM: Then why are you pulling at it.
Tork: (I can't get it off.) Oh, nothing! It'll stay there for a looooooooooong time.
<Tork starts chewing at the tag.>
PM: Stop that!
Tork: Ok! Fine! I'll wear it. <pretends to like it, with heavy sarcasm> Look, it has a picture of your face and your goofy hat.
PM's henchmen: *snicker*
PM: What is it?
PM's henchmen: Oh, nothing!!
<Meanwhile, there's a crisis back at GROPE headquarters!!!!>
Rimmi: So Mickey isn't here.
Lita: Uh huh.
Rimmi: ...And Tork isn't here.
Lita42: Yup. He sure isn't. By the way, can I recommend a replacement? His name is Charmin...
Rimmi: ...And Jimmy disappeared completely.
Cave Rimmer: Yup.
Rimmi: You know what that means? Where are we going to find guys to push around!?
Lita: *gasp* You're right!
Rimmi: Who is going to fluff the pillows for the chairs I sit in?
Lita42: You know, I really don't miss any of them.
Lita: Who is going to be punched by EM for our entertainment?
CaveRimmer: And who am I going to hit with my club?
Lita42: Well, maybe I miss them a little.
#2375
Meanwhile, on Earth 2
Date: 08/16/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
Lisa: Where is my cappucino?
Rorque: Coming! Geez, ever since she got that Queen Witch crown, she's just gotten such a huge ego.
Kimmy: Oh, so what's different?
Rorque: Good pont.
Anti Mike: Tell me about it! Last night, I had to paint her toe nails *and* have sex with her! She's overworking me!
Lisa: I'm hearing all this. I will kick your ass la...(phone rings)...oh, geez...Will you get that Dick!
Dickey: It's Richard.
Lisa: Yeah, whatever Dick! Get it.
Dickey: (Picks up) Hewwo? (Covers the receiver) Oh, geez....it's that Crow the Great guy again. (Uncovers) Yeah?
CTG: I want to join the Scoobies!
Geico the Gecko: Yeah! Let us in or I'll lash my tongue out at you!
Road Runner: Meep meep.
Dickey: We're not hiring right now. (Hangs up).
CTG: Damn.
The Bespectacled Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
President of the John Lee Supertaster Fan Club
Post Narc x4
Geeky fanboy
#2376
*Rattatta* *Rattatta* *Rattatta*
Date: 08/16/2002
From: ServoTheGreat
(The Kill-Bot is still after STG!)
STG: (shaking his fist) Damn robot, leave me alone! You're suppossed to go after the other guys not me!!!
KB: Target [Servo The Great] Aquired. Currently pursuing. Terminate... Terminate... Terminate...
STG: Huff... Huff... Huff... Can't keep... huff... huff... Running... Huff...
(STG ducks into an alley, and the Kill-Bot follows. What'll happen next? I don't know...)
(Meanwhile...)
Tork: Yes! I've converted the flashlight on my arm to a Holy Water Squirter!
Rick: It looks like you just added a Super Soaker to your arm.
Tork: Hey, I didn't say it was supposed to be sofisticated. It just gets the job done.
Rick: Think it'll work?
Tork: I don't know. But if Sunday comes near, she's gonna get it!
Sunday: (Behind Tork) Get what?
Tork: Ah ha! I got you now! (About to blast her, but she just punches him in the stomach, and leaves.)
Rick: Well... Okay then.
(Suddenly the back door flys open as STG runs through)
STG: aaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!(out the front door)
Buffalo: What was that all about?
(The Kill-Bot enters, and sees Tork on the floor. PM enters with a towel around his waist, and still has the tiara on his head)
PM: HEY! I Leave to take a shower, and it sounds like your tearing apart the whole building... Um, Rick, who's that?
Rick: Looks like a robot, chief.
Kill-Bot: Targets [Pharoah Mobious] and [Tork 110] aquired. (Arm now transforms into a flame thrower, and the other arm transforms into a chainsaw) Terminate... Terminate... Terminate...
PM: GAH! Nabut, get it!
Nabut: HeeeeeeeeeYAH! (Jump kicks at the robot)
(The Kill-Bot launches a concusion gernage out of its chest at Nabut, and sends him flying out the front window.)
PM: Um... Okay, your turn Nick, Sam, Buffalo.... GET HIM!!!... Guys? (They've left)
PM: DAMMIT!!!
KB: Kill... Kill... Kill...
#2377
[PM] What're you guys snickering at?
Date: 08/17/2002
From: PharaohMobius
<<<RP Mode>>>
[Nabut] Nothing, my L-peachpi-iege.
[PM] No, you're laughing about something. Out with it!
[Buffalo] Iyit's becawz yew got a-- [He grunts as if he were just hit in the gut. Because he was, by Sam.]
[Sam] Nothing, Big Daddy. Nothing.
[PM] Now I *know* something's up. I'm getting quite irritated with you guys... Rick, give me a Battle Booze. Make it a double.
[Rick] Sure thing, *snicker* boss.
[PM] You all are in for a major ass-beating, if you don't cool it!
[Sam] Whoa, mellow out, Pharaoh-man. We're cool. [To Rick] Something's up. The boss-man's getting pretty cheesed off!
[Rick] You got that right, bub. I'll keep an eye on him. You just try to keep that kid in the robot suit calmed down. [He poins in Tork's direction. Tork is all but laughing out loud at the tiara on PM's head.]
[Tork] By the way, PM, have I told you I *love* your hat?
[PM] Only about a thousand times, Tork. It's getting kind of old.
[Tork] But I'm serious! [He snorts down another bout of laughter, but stops short when Sam pinches him.] OW!!!1! What was that for?!?!?
[Sam] Mell-ow OUT! [He whispers to Tork about PM getting angrier and angrier.]
[Tork] So? *He's* the one with the stupid tiara on his head!
[PM] What was that?!?!?!?
[Sam] Nothing! He said nothing!!!1! [To Tork] Turkey.
[PM] *That's* it! Where's my ceremonial Pharaoh khopesh? I'm thinking of calling it Mr. SlicyMcNadSplitter!!!!
[Rick gasps.] Run away! That vampire dame put a Bitch Tiara on the boss's head!!!
[PM] A WHAT?!?!? [Draws sword.]
[Tork] That's my Sunday. [Sees PM approaching him with sword.] EEEEP!!!
TmPM
Sarcophagus!
#2378
Blows teh continuity whistle...
Date: 08/17/2002
From: ServoTheGreat
Hey, wait a minute... Wasn't the Kill-Bot running through MSTBlanca? How can they be talking about a tiara if there's a killer robot in there? Didn't anyone read my reply? I know they're bad, but not THAT bad. Maybe I'm being shunned...
Well, whatever the reason, I'll fix it right now. I've called 8714. Hi 8714!
8714: Yeah... hi.
STG: So can you fix it?
8714: Yup... But it won't be cheap?
STG: Well I was just thinking if you switched my reply and PM's reply around it would be okay. They fight about the tiara. Then the robot comes. PM's still wearing the tiara, cause he has nothing else.
8714: Yeah, normally that's pretty cheap work, but look where PM's reply is.
STG: Eh?
8714: Yeah, that's a load bearing reply. It's gonna be expensive to move.
STG: Oh, well maybe we don't have to fix it...
8714: What? And live with the incontinuity? You'll have to get this fixed, or I'll have to get the state to shut you down for not having this rp up to code.
STG: WHAT!? You'd do that?
8714: It's the craftsman's/woman's code.
STG: Well, um...
8714: So I'll get right at it! (Reaches into STG's pocket and pulls out all his money, and gets to work.)
ServoTheGreat
I am SO sick of that code!
#2379
<Lita sits bolt upright>
Date: 08/17/2002
From: Carmelita9000
[[[[[[[Long reply alert]]]]]]]
[[[[[[[Sorry]]]]]]]
[[[[[[[I got carried away]]]]]]]
<But nobody really notices because she was already sitting up. There's not much of a visible difference. But there is a psychological difference. Lita's worried!>
Lita: Something's wrong!
Rimmi: Lita, nothing's wrong. Mickey and Tork get their asses lost all the time. We should consider getting them ID tagged or something so that next time they get lost some nice person will find them and send them home...
Lita: No! That's not it! Something else is wrong!
Rimmi: Everything's fine! Nobody's attacking us for once, we have this cool fort we made, don't get all worried just because we finally get to take a breather from all the action. Relax! Go with it!
Lita: Everything's not fine! I can sense something! I know what I'll try... <Lita puts on her Bitch Crown and using her powers as Queen Bitch, checks out the goings on in her Bitchdom.> Oh! I see what it is! That bastard!
Rimmi: What? What is it?
Lita: PM! Of course! He's trying to usurp my power as Queen Bitch! He's gone and gotten himself a Bitch Tiara!
Rimmi: That total ass! Go beat the crap out of him!
EM: Yeah, Lita! You go take care of PM! I'll stay here and protect Rimmi!
Rimmi: <rolls her eyes>
Lita: You're coming with me Evil Mike.
EM: Damn.
***
<Shortly thereafter Lita bursts through the door of MSTBlanca. Evil Mike skulks in behind her. This entrance doesn't have the dramatic effect she was hoping for, seeing as how there's a Kill-bot tearing the place up. Lita sighs impatiently. Tork sees her.>
Tork: Shoot! It's Lita! And she's wearing the Bitch Crown! She can't see me here with PM's logo on my costume, she'll be pissed! <He hides behind a nearby potted plant while Lita's too distracted by the Kill-Bot to notice him.>
Kill-Bot: Target [Carmelita9000] acquired! Terminate... Terminate...
Lita: <Crossing her arms and glaring at the Kill-Bot> Don't you talk to me like that, you big stupid pile of crap!
Kill-Bot: Er... <It looks at the icy glare on Lita's face. It looks at her Bitch Crown. It looks at its flame thrower and chainsaw arms. It looks at the floor.> Well now it just seems kind of stupid... <The Kill-Bot hangs its head and shuffles ashamedly out of the bar.>
Lita: <She watches him leave. When she's sure there will be no more upstaging of her dramatic fiery wrath,> Ok, Pharahshfahoa, you ass! Just where the hell do you think you get off? There's only room for one member of Bitch Royalty around here, and I'm it! Quit trying to steal my bit!
PM: <Made bitchier through the influence of the bitch tiara> What the hell are you talking about? Has some of that fat on your hips migrated to your brain?
<There is a long uncomfortable silence. Lita is shaking in shocked rage. PM, feeling this remark was terribly clever, is content to stand there and smirk while it sinks in. Everybody else tries to make themselves inconspicuous.>
Lita: I am gonna kill you so dead...
PM: Are you sure you don't want to call one of your stupid clones to do it for you? You wouldn't want to accidentally get any exercise or anything...
Lita: Ok... That tiara is cutting off the circulation in your head. I'm going to have to confiscate it.
PM: Tiara? I don't know what the hell you're talking about, you stupid whor-- <Yep. There it is. Lita bitch-slapped him. You knew it had to happen. I'm only surprised it didn't happen sooner.> Ow!! Dammit! <Lita hits him with a chair> Ok, that's it!
<PM attacks Lita. But the fight isn't all that impressive. In no time it's dissolved into a bunch of wrestling, punching, slapping, kicking, hair pulling, clawing with sharp nails, and quite a lot of foul language that you might expect from an evil guy like PM, but you really wouldn't think a lady like Lita should know.>
Buffalo: Cupcake II!! He's attackin' mah Cupcake II!! Ah gotta sayve her!
Sam: <Holding Buffalo back> You better not, Good Buddy. One thing every man should know is don't ever jump into the middle of a bitch fight. Bitches just don't fight fair, man. Very un-mellow.
EM: <Hanging out by the door with Nabut> You know, it's kind of hot when Lita kicks people's asses.
Nabut: Why are you even here? You haven't done anything this whole reply!
EM: I'm thinking I'm just here for decoration. But I don't know what "reply" you're talking about. Heh... You Egyptians sure talk funny.
Nabut: Er... Yes...
<The fight's about over. Delivering a final jab at the ribs and a knee to the groin, Lita rips the Bitch Tiara off of PM's head.>
PM: Owww! <Rubbing a sore spot> What was all that about?
<Lita glares at PM>
PM: Is this about me banning you from MSTBlanca? Because I can lift that if you're really pissed--
Lita: Oh shut up! <She storms behind the bar, bending the tiara out of shape and grumbling all the way.>
Rick: Sorry, Sweetheart. Employees only back here. <Lita glares at him.> Of course, that doesn't apply to *you*!! I don't know why I brought it up. Come on back here, Ma'am. Hey, what are you doing with my blender? I need that.
Lita: <tossing the crumpled tiara into the blender with a little bit of booze for good measure and turning it on> *grumble* *grumble* ...no business calling *me* fat... *grumble* *grumble* ...women are expected to live our lives 30 pounds underweight... *grumble* *grumble* <The blender is managing to chew up the tiara pretty well, but it's having trouble. Little tendrils of smoke start to rise from the sides>
Rick: Aww, Dollface! You're destroying my blender! I *like* that blender! A good blender is hard to find!
Lita: *grumble* *grumble* ...I'm *not* fat... *grumble* *grumble* ...PM's just an *idiot*!! *grumble* *grumble*
Nabut: Wasn't "grumble grumble" what that moblin said in the first Zelda game when it wanted some food?
<Lita abruptly stops grumbling. The blender bursts into flames.>
Nabut: That was the wrong thing to say, wasn't it?
Lita: A moblin was a hideous bulldog looking thing! You better not be calling me a--
Nabut: Of course not!
<Lita throws the flaming blender at Nabut. He ducks at the last second, and it smashes through a window behind him.>
EM: Good throw! You're so cute when you're violent!
Lita: I'm gonna kick your ass next, Evil Mike. Now let's get out of here.
<Lita grabs a couple of bottles of Old Kentucky Shark from behind the bar, and then storms out of MSTBlanca. Evil Mike follows, grinning from ear to ear.>
Rick: <When he's sure she's out of earshot.> You better come back here and pay for those!
Tork: <peeking out from behind the potted plant> She's gone! And she didn't see me! Thank goodness!
Nick: <peeking out from behind the same potted plant> Did you manage to get any pictures of her knees while she was here?
Tork: D'oh!!
Lita
*Queen* Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
PM: Way to go, Lita. You just killed what could have been a really cool plotline.
Lita: Hey. I didn't stay Queen Bitch this long by just letting people run around putting on other Bitch headgear and stealing my power.
PM: True, but you could have let it go for a *little* while longer...
Lita: If you want to get all mean, find yourself a Pig Demon.
PM: Hey, there's an idea!
Lita: Of course, there's only one. And Rimmi killed it.
PM: Shoot!
Lita: Now get out from behind my tagline! This reply is already way too long and it should have ended a page ago! We're going way over and it's all your fault! 8714 is going to be mad that we're putting too much weight on this reply! It's going to break and she's going to blame me!
PM: Ok! Ok! I'm going! Sorry!
#2380
[STG] No, it's not good enough!
Date: 08/18/2002
From: PharaohMobius
<<<Continuity Schmontinuity!>>>
[PM] What isn't?
[STG] Your whole reply ignored the kill-bot, and then Lita's reply used it again.
[PM] Yeah, so?
[STG] SO?!? You ignored a whole plot development, you jerk!
[PM] I just exercised the once-per-plot-twist Narrative Fiat I get as a Pulp Villain. I thought the kill-bot was plehhy, so I 86-ed it!
[Kill-Bot] You... *sniff* thought I was plehhy?
[PM] Get lost, Plehhy McPlehingtonvichville!
[Kill-Bot cries and runs away.]
[STG] And now you make my poor kill-bot cry! Jerky McBastardton! And since when can you hijack storylines like that?
[PM] Since always! Check out the Pulp Villain template in the TFtD RPG Player's Guide! It's right there!
[STG] Player's Guide? What th-- [Looks at book.] Hey, I didn't know this was a tabletop RPG!!!
[Tork enters, poining and laughing at PM.] PM, you're just like Red Mage!
[PM] What?
[Tork] From Eight-Bit Theater! He's always rules-lawyering like that!
[PM] Oh, I am NOT!
[Tork] You are so! Red Mage!
[PM] Gah! Stop it, Black Mage!
[Tork] I'll take that as a compliment!
[PM] Don't, 'cause you're only like him in terms of horniness!!!
[Tork] YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!!
[STG] Uh, guys... my kill-bot...
[Tork and PM] Forget your kill-bot!!!1!
[STG] Oh, FINE! [He storms off, humming the "revenge on his friends" song.
[Tork steals PM's pharaoh hat and replaces it with a broad-brimmed, red velvet pimp hat with an ostrich feather in the brim. Pm steals Tork's hat and replaces it with a dumb-looking, slightly-less-broad-brimmed, conical straw hat. They start poining at each other and calling each other "Red Mage" and "Black Mage". This goes on for twenty minutes or more.]
TmPM
Sarcophagus!
#2381
Mickey: Let me go!
Date: 08/18/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
There's so much soup left to be eaten!
Cop #1: Tell it to the judge!
Mickey: Oh I *will*. I'll tell it to anyone who will listen!
Cop #1: Good, you do that.
Cop #2: Hey does anyone got a video camera? I wanna beat him up!!!
Cop #1: I think you're good to go.
Cop #2: Yay!!!!!! (Kicks Mickey in the shins)
Mickey: Hey....quit it.
Cop #1: You can stop. I think this scumbag's had enough!
Cop #2: Really?
Cop #1: Nope, I lied! (Slams Mickey against the car) OK, now he's had enough. You can get up now. (Seconds pass) Oh, geez, load the load into the car!
(Later....at the courthouse)
Judge: We're here to set a trial date for Mickey T.
Mickey: Soup!!!!
Cop #1: Now's not the time.
Mickey: Look, it was all a big misunderstanding. They were....um, already dead when I killed them! Yeah, that's it!
Judge: What kind of lame excuse is that? You get that crap out of my court room right now!
Mickey: (Poins at cop #2) You heard him...leave.
Cop #2: Do you like getting the snot kicked out of you?
Mickey: That's a popular opinion around here.
Judge: Can we get on with this?
Mickey: No, I'm stalling! Isn't it obvious? And now.......panties!!!!!
(The court room erupts in laughter)
Mickey: Oh yeah! The magic word!
The bespectacled Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
President of the John Lee Supertaster Fan Club
Post Narc x4
Panties!
Next up: Bono makes an appearance. Lita's happy.
Back to Lita's triumph over "Carm".
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